Cold Mountain
reviewed by Brian "the Naked Gun" Felts &
Benn "Where's the Humanity?" Farrell
I turned this movie off before Renee
Zellweger (Bridget Jones' Diary) appeared in the movie, and she won the Best Supporting Actress Academy
Award® for her role.
When I discovered the movie was directed by Minghella, I realized why I didn't like it.
I turned "The English Patient" off after thirty minutes, as did I with "Cold Mountain."
You may like "Cold Mountain." I am not going to comment on the acting or anything really because
I didn't see enough of it to judge it. I am bored of Nicole Kidman (The Hours). I never thought she was
a great actress. I hated the story. The action was ok for a war movie, but I don't know how
much more there was going to be. To make a long story short, I hated it. There was nothing
about the story to entice me into watching it, just like "The English Patient." It's a chick
flick, but I don't see even how girls can watch it. This movie is so boring, it even
makes my review boring. Brian - the Naked Gun
Yes. I actually watched "Cold Mountain," all the way through. I feel had Brian watched the whole thing and
saw a handful of the more delightful performances in it, towards the middle and later half of the film, he
may have upped its rating to a puker.
Once again, I am NOT impressed with Anthony Minghella (Talented Mr. Ripley) as a director. He has several
sequences so drawn out
in this picture, it gets on my nerves. Also, its a southerners' story, which already looses me, being a New
England yankee. However, Minghella allows certain small performances to sound as bumpkin stupid and
uneducated as possible. If I was a southerner, I think I would take offense at these few characters. They're
embarrassing.
However, as performances go, Academy Award® winner Renée Zellweger (Chicago) was a joy, as
was Natalie Portman (Garden State) and a handful of Rebel deserters in the film's later tale. Jude Law
(AI) is also strong as Inman. However, Nicole Kidman (The Others) was a big disappointment, as she has been for me
since "Moulin Rouge."
The picture ends in tragedy, which is cool, but it was SO romanticized and overworked, I just didn't
care for the characters and their losses. By the point--I may as well just say it--Inman is shot dead,
I thought to myself, "Good, now at least this 152 minute movie will be over soon."
I think Minghella could have easily told this simple story of a Rebel deserter, trying to keep his
promise of coming back alive, in way under two hours. However, Minghella also wrote
the screenplay, based on the book by Charles Frazier, and apparently cutting ONE LINE of dialogue was
sacrilege. The actual goal of our main character isn't even established until an hour into the
picture. Good grief.
The picture IS better than Minghella's Academy Award® winning "The English Patient," in that
each character is fully developed and the story told is complete and delivered with realism, just
overwhelmed with romanticism. The picture's not good, but the best I've seen Minghella produce yet.
I didn't bother watching any special features on the DVD disc. I just didn't care enough for the
production.
Benn - Where's the Humanity?
Had I known the movie "Cold Mountain" was directed by Anthony Minghella, the same
director of the Academy Award® winning bore "The English Patient," I never would have rented
it. I could not figure out why I wanted to turn it off right after I started the movie. The
acting didn't seem bad, the story was boring. By the way, special note to Hollywood, 99 percent of
America understands that war SUCKS. We do not need to be bombarded with lame movies about how
war sucks. To quote Homer Simpson, "Duh." I digress.